Jim had a gig last night, so I spent most of the evening writing thirty donation request letters for raffle items for the summer reading program – a seemingly easy task, but always remarkably time-consuming. Last night it took four and a half hours, which includes the writing of the letters, printing of the envelopes, and, most importantly, fact-checking on the web, since donation request contact people often change from one year to the next, and larger organizations like the local minor league baseball teams often change donation request procedures from one year to the next.

At any rate, by the time I finished at 8:15 I was ready to do something totally mindless. So I cracked open a growler of Lost Sailor* and turned on the T.V. And watched “The Bachelorette,” a show I’d normally avoid at all costs. Last week when I was home sick and too dizzy to read, I did watch some bad television, but “The Bachelorette” definitely trumps that episode of “Divorce Court” that I saw on Thursday.

So here’s my beef with “The Bachelorette”: the whole premise of the show is what’s wrong with love and marriage in this country in general.  Ali, the bachelorette, had a great home-based date with a nice guy last night, where they cooked dinner together, hung out and relaxed together, and seemed to have a nice happy time together.  But Ali sent this guy home because she wanted “romance” and a “connection,” and if a guy wasn’t going to be “romantic” in this reality T.V. setting, then there was no chance of “romance” in real life. I’d love to take Ali aside and tell her that diamonds and roses aren’t romantic. Romantic is coming home after a long day of work, feeling kinda sick and crummy, and having your sweet husband smile at you and say, “You look awful. Sit down, take a load off, and let me cook dinner for you.” Seriously. Romance is those little, daily thoughtful things that show how much you care about someone. Sure, a big date night here and there is good, and remembering birthdays (hint hint) is also good, but it’s the day to day compassion and love that really count.

But I didn’t see any evidence of that type of romance and caring on last night’s show. There was a lot of testosterone fueled posturing as the guys talked about “being there for Ali,” a girl they hardly know, and there were a lot of fake smiles and strained facial expressions and a whole lot of wine consumption. It was pretty depressing. Luckily, Jim came home before the end of the show and we muted the volume and made fun of the whole silliness. While consuming popcorn and Lost Sailor, of course.

* Please note that I did NOT single-handedly consume said growler. That would just be gross.

It’s time I went public with this:  I totally do NOT “get” Facebook.  In fact, despite having giving Facebook plenty of chances, I find it to be the most boring, tedious, horrendous time waster that I’ve ever encountered.

(Right about here I duck under a table to avoid the flying objects -virtual flying objects, of course – hurled by all of you who love Facebook.)

I joined Facebook a few months back because of the library.  The library has a Facebook page to announce teen events, so I figured it would behoove me to at least put in an appearance as a “fan” of the library.  And I’ve become a fan of my favorite tea company, my favorite online clothing store, and Mother Goose on the Loose.  I’ve even gained a few friends – a very few friends.  And most recently, I’ve joined the alumni group for my college class, since there is a class reunion coming up this spring.  But I’m still bored.

Here’s what I dislike about Facebook (prepare to be pissed off, you Facebook lovers): 

It minimizes human contact, so that people are communicating via little badly written blurbs and comments.  I like talking to people, face-to-face and on the phone.  I don’t like trying to sound clever and cute in a one sentence update on my life.

It brings people back into your life who have long since moved on, and who have moved on for good reason.  Many friendships have a shelf life, and once the friendship has expired, it’s in everyone’s best interest to let things go. I probably don’t have much in common now with the friends I had in my late twenties.  But I have new friends now with whom I share quite a bit.

It encourages a highschool popularity mentality, even when you’re resisting that trap.  I’m way past highschool, and would like to think that I’m mature, but when I see that both of my siblings have over a hundred friends each, and I only have five friends, I start to feel my ego shrink and my posture change and I feel again like the braces-ridden runty highschool freshman that I once was.  No thanks.  I don’t need that.

It’s an absolute time suck.  If I were to become a Facebook junkie, I would lose valuable time that I could spend reading, creating, socializing, blogging (yes, I know, I need to be more consistent with that), or taking an afternoon nap on a weekend.  Or cooking or cleaning or volunteering or planting a garden or getting in shape.

But I don’t want anyone to think that I’m a techno-dud.  I have a favorite Facebook alternative:  Goodreads.  Goodreads allows me to see what some of my favorite authors are reading (Gabrielle Zevin, Neil Gaiman), and what those authors think of the books they’ve just read.  Gabrielle Zevin gave 5 stars to that book, and says it’s the best thing she’s read in years?  I think I’ll go find a copy and read it, too.  Goodreads also keeps me in touch with my friends who are voracious readers, and I can read their ratings and reviews on books they’ve read.  Peggy slammed that book, giving it only 2 stars?  I trust Peggy’s judgement, so I think I’ll skip reading that book.  And, Goodreads keeps me accountable for what I read.  I find that I forgo television or watching a DVD more often now so that I can settle down and read a book and then post my review on Goodreads.  I don’t want to look like a literary slacker, after all.  And guess what?  I have more friends on Goodreads that I do on Facebook.

So now I’ve got two questions: How long can something as inane as Facebook survive?  And how many of you are mad at me right now?

Yup, it’s true – I do still watch American Idol.  Why not.  And this season has been pretty great so far.  I’m blown away by the number of talented singers this year, and by the fact that there aren’t any singers who make you cringe and shake your fist at the screen.

I’m hard pressed to make any predictions of who might win, since the contest truly seems to be a week-to-week thing, but I will list my personal favorites – the contestants who I’d like to see continue on to the end:  Michael, David A., David C., Carly, and Brooke.  So if those guys can hang on to the final five, I’ll be psyched.

And now I’ve got to stop writing, since George Clooney is due up on the Today show…

We watched a pretty good movie this weekend – not the best I’ve ever seen, but good enough that it’s worth tracking down in your local video store (or, shudder, through NetFlix):  The Namesake, based on the novel by Jhumpa Lahiri.  Directed by Mira Nair, the movie stars Kal Penn of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, who acts with depth and intelligence (which would have surprised me if I had only seen him in Harold & Kumar, but he does now also have that role on House). 

What I liked about this movie is its gentle perceptiveness as we follow this family over twenty-five or so years.  We don’t ever see Gogol going to Yale, nor do we see his father teaching a class; instead, we are presented with smaller moments of their lives, mixed in with some of the biggest moments – deaths, births, marriages.  Family interactions take center stage here, and once I got used to the slow pace of the movie, I was hooked.  And I love that the ending doesn’t fall prey to the common trap of tying everything up neatly for the viewer, but instead leaves the possibilities of the future wide open.  It’s a fine movie, one that stays with you; three stars from me.