Retirement

Though I was truly honored to be chosen as a reviewer for that publication I’ve mentioned in the past, I’ve officially submitted my resignation to them.  After writing 15 reviews on 27 books (if you count my audition reviews, it’s really 18 reviews for 30 books) in the last three months, it was time to retire.

If I had no other commitments in my life, I think I’d actually enjoy writing reviews.  But it was just plain TOO much to try to squeeze the reading of the books, the background research, and the writing of the reviews into my already jam-packed days.  With my library and tutoring schedule, I often leave home at 9 in the morning, not to return until 8 at night, hungry for dinner.  Once dinner is in my belly, that leaves an hour or so to read review books (with my exhausted eyes) before bedtime. 

Granted, my tutoring has ended for the summer, so there’s more free time in my schedule now.  But we ARE trying to finish the painting and siding of the house, as well as the installation of the new windows that arrived on Tuesday, and the gardens need some major weeding already.

So what this all comes down to is establishing priorities in one’s life.  Life is short, and I want mine to be about more than just how many hours I can work in a week.  For me, something had to give in order to remain sane, and I chose book reviewing. 

Flushed Away

Recently there was a conversation on MASSYAC (the list serve for children’s librarians in Massachusetts) about movie nights and why it’s hard to attract patrons to movies at the library.  The whole conversation totally puzzled me, since it was the exact opposite of what I experience at the library I work for.  Other librarians complained that they would hold a movie night and no one would come, or only a few people would come, or that attendance would be spotty and irregular from one movie to another.

Perhaps it’s simply the geographic makeup of the town in which I work, but movie nights are a consistent hit for us.  This town has no movie theater, and is quite a drive from movie theaters in other towns.  So the weekly, sometimes bi-weekly, movie nights that we have planned for this summer are a terrific way for families in town to socialize with each other, and now that we have reliable air conditioning, it will also be a great way to beat the heat in the midst of summer.

And the fact that Mary, Lisa, Roy, and I are willing to work an evening shift in order to run movie nights, even Friday evenings in the school year, must count for something too.  Though I do want to instigate gentle afternoon movie showings in the children’s room for the coming school year, I also feel quite strongly that it’s necessary to hold movie nights, events that working parents can happily and easily attend with their children. 

All these reasons aside, our first movie night in the new building was an unqualified success, with an almost full house of attendees (a full house is 89, we had 74).  The movie was Flushed Away, a movie that Jim and I had rented a few months ago to watch at home.  Truthfully, I didn’t enjoy it much when Jim and I watched it, but I still put it on the summer schedule because the demand for our circulating DVD has been high at the library.  And I was pleasantly surprised by Flushed Away when I saw it on the library’s big screen, with a crowd of happy, rowdy (in a good way) children in attendance.  It was a LOT of fun, and the crowd gave a heartfelt round of applause at the conclusion.

Next week’s movie is Shrek (might as well show the first of the trilogy, the one that started it all!), and I’ll be going out today to buy some more of the incredibly popular popcorn that we served at this week’s movie.  Which might be another key to our success:  good popcorn. 

In other news…

It’s definitely been an interesting week – the sad time with Rudy, and the utter highs of the start of the summer reading program.

The Ice Cream Social was on Wednesday, and that morning was absolutely insane.  It was pouring with rain at 10 and 11 AM, and many, many library patrons called the library to see if we were moving the Social to the rain date.  More times than I can remember, I had to kindly tell patrons that the weather forecast was indeed conducive to an outdoor afternoon event, that I was obsessively viewing the weather radar, and that it was going to be ok, really, it was.  I even sent out an email to all patrons who had pre-registered, and asked them to please pass the word on to their friends who might not have registered.

After a brief hiatus in the staff room to make some rain of my own after hearing about Rudy, I sat back at my desk and saw the rain move out and the clear skies move in.  By 12:30, things were obviously going to be fine, and it was time to get the ice cream and start to set up.

Jim and two of his buddies, Mark and Rich, were the band for the event, and they did a fabulous job.  Really awesome.  (I’m not just saying this because I’m married to Jim – they really were awesome.  One woman who attended with her kids came up to me to rave about the band, and her jaw nearly hit the grass when I told her it was my husband’s band.)

We had lots of volunteers helping with the event:  six teenagers and one adult, as well as the library page extraordinaire, Alyson.  This meant that I could schmooze rather than scoop ice cream, and it was so much fun.  I can’t count how many times grinning parents came up to me, shaking their heads, and saying “Wow, you’re good.  I thought you were crazy about the rain letting up, but you were SO right!  What a beautiful day!”

So it was a success, hugely fun for all, and the best summer kick-off the town has ever seen, thanks to the extensive grounds we have at the new site – plenty of room to run and play without danger of cars.  Roy took some great photos of the event, and if I get ambitious I’ll try to post one or two that don’t feature kids (for safety reasons, of course). 

Tomorrow’s post: the first movie night in the new building!

Rudy

Our beloved cat Rudy died today, at the young age of eight. 

We took him from the emergency care folks over to the animal hospital for surgery this morning – didn’t say a proper goodbye, perhaps because we knew it probably might be goodbye for good – and left him there, rubbing his face against the front gate of his carrier.

At 11:30, the surgeon, Dr. Sager, called to tell me that he had bad news: Rudy’s intestine was fully cancerous, and his liver was almost completely gone (perhaps because of the peritonitis).  The humane thing to do was to put Rudy to sleep, and not try to wake him up.

And so Rudy is gone, and I miss him – a lot.  He was a great cat, and we loved him.

Tuesday update

– Rudy, the double-pawed big-hearted tuxedo cat, will be receiving an ultrasound this morning.  Hopefully the news will be good.

– Two new kids signed up for the summer book groups: one for the fifth grade group, one for the seventh-ninth grade group.  Something tells me that there will be even more new kids signing up over the summer, which is very exciting.

– The Ice Cream Social, the summer reading kickoff event, is only a day away.  There’s a chance that we may need to use the rain date of Thursday, but I’m really hoping that we don’t have to make that decision. 

– Last storytime of the school year is this morning.  It’ll be nice to have a break from all the planning that entails, but I’ll miss the social, fun group that comes every week (average attendance lately has been well over 30).

– Perhaps because of Rudy’s health, I’m only mildly freaking out about summer reading this year (as compared to last year).  But I still can’t wait for it to get started, to get over the hump of beginning the summer.

– And, last but not least, a funny story from yesterday:  I was buying water for the upcoming movie night and for the Ice Cream Social.  Kmart had a really great deal on individual bottles of Poland Spring water, so I piled six cases into my shopping cart, along with three of the counter-top bottles that have a pouring spout.  As I maneuvered the heavy-as-heck cart to the register, I announced to the clerk that “I clearly have a drinking problem.”  She thought that was pretty funny.

Sad reading

It’s been a yucky weekend.  I’m working on finishing up the five reviews on eight books that I owe – had set aside this entire weekend to finish them – but I’ve ended up doing most of the remaining reading while sitting in the reception area of Animal Emergency Care.

Rudy has had a few instances in the last month and a half of ill health: he’d stop eating for a day or two, and be terribly lethargic, then, just when we started to be worried, he’d bounce back and be his regular hungry active self again.  This past Friday morning Jim woke up to feed the cats and found several puddles of cat-puke on the carpet; he fed the cats breakfast as usual, and Rudy declined to eat.  Then he didn’t eat dinner Friday evening, either, and threw up some more.  Nor did he eat Saturday breakfast.  When I got home from work Saturday afternoon, he was vomiting clear puddles of puke, not a trace of food left in his body.

So Jim and I debated, and finally decided that I’d take Rudy over to Animal Emergency Care.  Rudy and I waited, and waited, and waited, for three hours.  While Rudy slept listlessly in his carrier, I got to know some of the other people and animals waiting their turn.  The funky, personable husband and wife with the 18-year-old cat who was limping.  The mother and little boy with the cat who had peed all over the house.  The young couple  with the Pomeranian puppy who had chewed an electric cord and gotten a shock.  The man and his wife who rushed in and urgently asked for help for their dog.

And I read my young adult novel in the waiting room, hating every sentence and every page. 

By 7:15, Jim came by to visit Rudy and me, and convinced me that Rudy wasn’t really sick enough to bother waiting anymore.  So we headed home, and fed the cats dinner.  Rudy didn’t eat.  Rudy was lethargic.  We decided to take him back to Animal Emergency Care at about 9:00 PM. 

The funky couple was still in the waiting room, while their cat was being examined.  They filled us in on what had happened in our absence:  the urgent man and wife with the injured dog had left in tears, without their dog.  The Pomeranian had been admitted for observation, after it was discovered that his heartbeat was irregular.  And then the funky couple got the news about their beautiful, aging cat: he had bone cancer, and would need to be put to sleep.  They left in tears, hugging their cat, planning to put him to sleep on Monday. 

A new patient, a sweet 16-year-old dog, and her owners had arrived meanwhile,  and Jim and I had a lovely chat with them.  Two young women, one stunning, one funny, sat with the stunning girl’s lapdog.  The other groups both ordered pizzas and other junk food, while we waited.  And waited.

Finally Rudy got his turn, and was examined and approved for blood tests and x-rays.  He was hustled out back, we went out and got V-8’s and donuts and chatted some more with the owners of the sweet elderly dog. 

Rudy’s blood tests came back: a bad systemic infection, with white blood counts off the chart.  He’d need to stay the night, and we were given a monetary quote for services to be rendered that made us both feel faint.  Through the wall we could hear the diagnosis for the sweet elderly dog:  pancreatitis.

By morning, Rudy had had his x-ray, and it shows a mass in his belly.  Whether the mass is cancerous, or an abcess, we don’t yet know.  Either way, his chances aren’t good.  He’s still at the hospital tonight, and they don’t like him much because he’s cranky and attacking them (they wear gloves that look like chain saw gloves when handling him, and he has a collar around his neck to keep him from trying to remove the IV, and, I think, to protect the staff from his ire); we’ll be moving him tomorrow morning to the animal hospital down the street for a second opinion.  I don’t hold out much hope that the second opinion will be positive.  It’s an unbelievably sad night.  Life without Rudy feels like a pretty crappy prospect.

And I’m still reading that young adult novel.  And still hating it.  I think it’s fair to say that the circumstances of life are affecting my judgement.  I’ve decided to retire from the book review business.

busy busy busy

It’s been a long week, though a fun week.  I really enjoyed visiting with all of the first through fifth grade classes this week, and especially enjoyed their reactions to the stories that I read them.  It’s not often that I get to read longer, more complex picture books out loud to kids, since my Thursday storytime at the library is primarily attended by 3 and 4 year-olds, so it was a true treat to dip into these more involved stories.  My personal favorite of the week is Mr. Maxwell’s Mouse, which I read to the fifth graders.  It was so fun to see these sophisticated fifth graders get totally wrapped up in the drama of the story, some girls covering their eyes and turning their heads in anticipation of the mouse’s death or the injury to the cat’s tail.  And then to experience the visible, audible relief in the room as the mouse escapes, and the cat clearly recovers from the cut to his tail.  (Thanks, Gayle, for reminding me about this book!!)

And I did a first this week:  I spoke to an assembly of 88 second graders, pretty successfully, too.  What nice kids, all of them!  I got such an incredibly warm reception from all of the classes I visited, and really enjoyed my week.

But, the work week is not over yet.  At 1 PM today, the H—- Puppet Players (a group of teenage volunteers “dedicated to the art of puppet performance”) will be performing “The Reluctant Dragon.”  These awesome creative volunteers have poured so much energy into the preparation for this performance, including creating a soundtrack and staying late at the high school’s art room yesterday to make scenery.  I can’t wait to see how the production goes today, and hope that they get a good-sized audience.

Before the show, though, all of the staff from the library will be attending the memorial service for Joanne’s late husband.  My thoughts are with Joanne and her family right now, as they prepare for the service. 

Busy week

Only time for a brief entry this morning:  this is the week that I visit each class at the elementary school to promote the summer reading program, which means getting to work an hour earlier than usual…which is, of course, my daily blog time. 

It’s so much fun visiting the classes this year, since at least half of the kids in each class already know who I am (as opposed to last year, my first year, when very few kids knew me).  And this year I’m reading a variety of stories aloud, as the whim strikes.  Last year I only read one book to every single class, Beatrice’s Goat, as an introduction to Heifer International and the then-new charity component of summer reading.  Since most kids remember Beatrice’s Goat this year, all I have to do is hold it up, talk for a minute about this year’s Heifer donation, then slide on in to a great read-aloud story.  Aaaaah.

More updates on the school visits as time permits – for now, it’s time to head to school!

Nonfiction

As far as home improvement projects go, this weekend has been a bust: it poured with rain on Saturday, and, more importantly, Jim has been knocked down by a really nasty sinus infection.  He’s hardly stirred from bed, hardly eaten anything besides jello and ginger ale; painting and residing the house were definitely NOT on the schedule this weekend.

Luckily, I had plenty to keep me busy in between mixing batches of jello.  I owed five reviews on eight books on the 8th, though I begged for, and received, an extension on the grounds of working overtime at my day (real?) job in preparation for summer reading.  So I settled down yesterday and today and polished off two of the three longest books, both young adult biographies of famous historical women.  All quality judgements on these books will be saved for the reviews I write, but I will say that I really enjoyed both of these books.  Not because of quality – but because they are both nonfiction books about periods in history, and two famous women, about which I knew relatively little.  I’ve come away from these books feeling better educated and better informed.

This is in sharp contrast to my feelings after reading several young adult fiction books for reviews over the last few months.  Bad fiction is bad fiction, but bad young adult fiction, with its tendency to didacticism, can be excruciating.  After finishing each of those inferior young adult novels, I felt more than a bit angry that I had wasted my limited and therefore precious reading time on books that stink.  Grrrrrr, I thought. 

But today I feel a bit smarter, after having read about and done supplementary research about C——–  and M————-.  Worthwhile time spent, and this might just keep me doing reviews in the future, if given the opportunity.

Bittersweet

Last evening Gayle and I went to a fifth grade performance of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.”  Gayle and I both used to be (note the past tense) SPED tutors at this elementary school, and two of our favorite students were in this play, one of them as the lead, Charlie Brown. 

I left the school in November of 2005 to take my current job, feeling very very guilty about leaving in the middle of the school year; it took a lot of rational thinking to convince myself that, for once, I needed to put my own career and financial needs ahead of the needs of my students.  It was a tough leaving, and to this day I feel rather hollow about having abandoned “my kids.” 

Gayle worked through the school year of ’05-’06, then left to take her own fourth grade classroom in another town.  In the remainder of that school year, Gayle spent a lot of time with the kids who were in last night’s play, and when she was invited to the performance there was no doubt that she wanted to attend.  She also convinced me to come, and we worked it with the SPED teacher, Rachel, that we would be a “special surprise” for the kids at the end of the show.  (Rachel talked up the “special surprise” for a couple of weeks, but the kids never guessed that it would be us.)

Sitting through the performance last night, I realized a couple of things.  First of all, though I had close bonds with the kids who played Charlie Brown and another lead role (we’ll call her “Janet”), I really didn’t know much about the other kids in the play.  Had this been the class of kids who are now 6th graders, or the kids who are now 7th graders, I probably would have been a weepy mess as I reunited with old friends and favorite students.   But the era of Abby at that school is pretty much past; the kids I spent so much time with have moved on, grown up.

I also realized that my self-esteem plummeted the moment that I walked into that school.  Though I was pretty great at my job there, it made me miserable to be the second-class citizen that is known as a “tutor.”  In my current job, I feel valued, respected, incredibly happy, and challenged.  I never dread going to the library the way I did school – I look forward to each day of work with enthusiasm.  Guess I’ve finally found my calling.

And then, after the show, Gayle and I chatted with the kids (hugs all around) and their parents, most especially Janet’s mom.  Janet’s mom is wonderful – sweet and kind and smart – and it felt like a knife through my heart when she told me that things were never as good for Janet at that school as they were when I was working with her.  She told me that Janet made so much progress in the year and a half she was with me, but after I left there just wasn’t anyone to fill the role that I had played in her life, and things were never the same.  I got a bit weepy, and told her how guilty I felt about leaving, and this gracious mom put a hand on my arm, looked me in the eye, and said, “Don’t feel guilty, please – I am SO happy for you, SO happy that you found a job that you love.”

It was a tough night: remembering where I’d been, feeling terrible about having abandoned kids who needed me, and also feeling so very thankful that I have moved on to a job and a role that makes ME happy and fulfilled.  Isn’t that always the challenge in life?  Keeping yourself happy while doing right by others?

Reflections on children, literature, libraries, and life…and cats.