The other morning I woke up from a nightmare with my heart pounding, feeling as though I were screaming.  Here’s the dream:

I was at the library, and my coworkers and some library patrons were throwing a small party for me, to wish me well in my new job.  My new job was to be the receptionist at a wildlife sanctuary, the same wildlife sanctuary where I worked as a receptionist when I was twenty or so; my going-away gifts included a gift certificate to the gift shop at the wildlife sanctuary.  One of my favorite library patrons had made me a scrapbook with pictures and memories from my time at the library (it was quite lovely), and as I was looking at it, I thought:  “But I don’t WANT to leave!  I LOVE my job!!  Why do I have to go to this other job???  I want to stay HERE!!!!  NOOOOOOOO!!!!  I want to stay here!!!!  I WANT TO STAY HERE!!!  I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!”

And then I woke up.

I’m guessing that this dream stems from the state budget uncertainty these days.  I’ve finally found my niche, the job that makes me happy AND I’m pretty good at, and when I allow myself (which I try not to), I worry that in a year or two I won’t be able to continue in this career anymore.  Hence the nightmare.

In my conscious hours, though, I’m trying to just enjoy my working life as it is now.  And do the best job that I can do.  These days, no one has any guarantees in their job: somehow, we’ve all got to find a way to survive the next few years with our sanity.  And let’s hope that it’s just the next few years, or less…