The after school regulars at the library have been a bit rambunctious lately. Suffice it to say that a paper airplane zoomed across the children’s room on Thursday (this is where my experience teaching comes in handy: I boomed out in my best teacher’s voice, “Zachary! Here! NOW!!” and confiscated the airplane from the culprit), and that I’ve practically worn myself out getting up from my desk and asking the kids to quiet down. Not a role that I relish or desire. Time to explore alternate techniques.

So on Friday I channeled my inner Mom. My mom, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, was an extraordinary teacher who instilled her philosophy of teaching and learning in all three of her children. On Friday, wearing the silver ring that she made for me years ago (I save the ring for special occasions, since the edges are getting softer by the year, wearing down, I fear, to nothing at all), I approached the situation as I imagined that she would. When the boys came into the children’s room from school, I greeted them and asked them how their day was, what their plans were for the weekend. Zachary (not his real name) came over to chat with me, and got intrigued by the toy catalog I was looking at. I explained that I was looking through it to pick out summer reading prizes, and he shyly asked if he could help. Next thing I knew, Zach was behind my desk, looking through the catalog, saying, “Hey! That’s cool! Buy that!”. So I talked to him about my budget, and that I can’t afford any prizes that cost more than thirty-five cents each. “Wow,” he said, and then he focused on finding prizes for me that were in my budget.

And he did a great job. For the next twenty minutes or so, Zach and two others from the after school gang clustered around my desk giving me prize advice. They found prizes that I hadn’t noticed, and they were quiet and respectful the whole time. Eventually I gave them a gentle five minute warning, because I needed to get some other work done, and they happily wrapped up their prize advice session and moved on to quietly work on their homework at the chairs by my desk. When the others had left for the day, Zachary asked me to help with the bits of his homework that he didn’t understand, and I guided him towards how to find the answers (that teaching experience again).

At the end of the day, as Zach and I were saying goodbye, I told him that he had been an example of exemplary behavior (did he know what that meant? it meant that he had been really good and a pleasure to be around) and that I really appreciated it. We’re buddies now, and I spent less time talking to him on Friday than I had on the other days of the week when I’d been reprimanding him. Way to go, Mom. You were totally right that kids need and want structure, and that it’s important to remember that attention is attention, whether it be rewarding good behavior or disciplining bad behavior. Far better to reward that good behavior, you used to tell me, and create a cycle of happy interactions. Wise advice.