Admit it, all of us have flaws – failings – things that we’re just not good at. Most of us try to avoid situations where our failings are evident. Why promote the negative, after all? Much better to stick to the stuff you’re good at.
So when I talked to Mieke, my best friend from college, a while back and told her that my new job requires me to regularly sing in public, her response was, “Oh, my God, Abs. Are you kidding? Those poor people!â€Â Mieke, of course, has a fabulous voice, and sang all the time in college. I, of course, have a horrible voice, and sang rarely.
But now I find myself needing to sing as part of my job. In front of people. Not just small children, but also their parents, some of whom can carry a tune very well. And there’s really no way around it. Story times for young kids need to have books AND fingerplays AND songs; it’s the way kids learn the rhythm of the language, which eventually helps them with reading multi-syllabic words. Sometimes I’ll break out the boombox and play a song or two from a CD, but there are still times that I have to sing, and it’s pretty painful.
I read Stephen Fry’s autobiography last summer, and one of his phrases really resonated with me. Fry talks about how he can hear music perfectly in his head, but that he can’t reproduce it; he says that he’s “not tone deaf, but tone dumb.â€Â That’s exactly what I am, since all those intricacies of the music are so clear in my head, and my inability to voice that music is utterly frustrating to me.
But now that singing is part of my career, what do I do? I’ll admit to using the “my voice sounds rough because my allergies are really bothering me today†excuse a lot. On particularly perky days I’ll play the role of cheerleader and say “I want to hear everyone sing this time!â€Â So far I haven’t yet admitted to being tone dumb, but that time may come. And I’ve been practicing a lot, singing in the shower after my musical husband leaves for work. I think I’ve gotten “The Itsy Bitsy Spider†down, but I’m still flummoxed by “The More We Get Together.â€Â And â€Five Little Ducks†is way, way tough.
Wish me luck. My singing is definitely a work-in-progress.